title: past and present today marks the end of the HSS week 0 orientation. it sure was fun and enjoyable for the past 3 days compared to last week's past 3 days! i guess.. it sure is a good feeling to be able to find that sense of belonging that i really longed for. i received my class posting today. got posted to 1A03. really happy that at least, i've got a good friend in the same class as me. but.. on the other hand, was quite sad when we both were not in the same class as the ppl we really bonded with in Apache (our orientation group name) but.. oh well.. we consoled ourselves with the fact that we would only be separated during tutorials and not lectures.. =( haha, i dont feel consoled though. however, someone delivered us the news that actually.. during 2nd year, we'd all be in the same class again! hmm.. hope so! =) anw.. met up with my sec school friends today, and i must say that the feeling was great! it's been a long time, 4F! hope to always keep in contact with all of you! =) Labels: memory turned into memories |
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title: you know, sometimes.. when i just stone or am not doing anything, a sudden fear grips me. i keep worrying about this new chapter i've been talking about for the past few months. it seems as though the fear would not go away. what if i was not able to fit in? what if i was not able to find a soul mate in the 3 years ahead? what if all my friends had friends except me? so many what ifs... i'm really afraid, i have to say. i cant stop worrying. i really cant. then, this song played in my head: Hide me now, under Your wings, Cover me, within Your mighty hand. When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with You above the storms, Father, You are king over the flood. and I will be still, know You are God. and then a verse rang in my head. "Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own." -Matthew 6:34 so jolene, stop worrying, be still before the Lord because you know He'll bring you through everything in life, BIG or small. put your faith in Him. Labels: faith |
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title:  loneliness aint a good feeling at all. it's even worse when u feel lonely in a crowd.what's the crowd even doing to make u feel sooo lonely? nothing.. they're just being themselves, or their fake-selves. u cant blame them.. u just dont fit in. face it. how saddening eh? too bad. life's like that. they say take it or leave. unfortunately, leave it isnt what u can do. so.. just take it, u idiot. tears stream out whenever u feel lonely. u just want a companion. 1 is enough. sadly, there's none. are u in the wrong place? she doesnt like that feeling at all.. she just wants to leave that place. she longs that it doesnt keep going on. it'll make her life miserable. very. but, to blend in, or to look for a companion in the crowd, u have to fit in. to fit in means u have to be like them. but she doesnt want to. not when the crowd's like this. she suddenly admires all who can undergo change without changing. she wants to be like one. can she? she hopes so.. u've only got 2 choices: to be urself and be lonely; to leave urself and be accepted. but... she wants none of this 2. she wants to be herself and be accepted. what was supposed to be 3 enjoyable days made her feel so miserable. she hasnt any clue how she's going to face the new term ahead. at first, she couldn't wait. now, she thinks she needs more time. ='( in any way, thank u for those encouraging words. she feels better. =) Labels: stop the tick tocks |
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title: innocence recently, i took up the role of a teacher- a tuition teacher to my 11 year old cousin. i must say, it is not a very easy job. firstly, because i've lost touch with primary school work for a long time. secondly, their syllabus sure has changed a lot that they're learning what we learnt only when we've reached sec one or p6. terrible huh.. thirdly, because it is not easy to keep the attn of a kid for two long hours! this cousin of mine is particularly lazy.. or should i say restless when it comes to studying. she doesnt like to focus (she drifts away) and blabbers nonsense when i ask her questions which i've told her the answers like 10 secs ago! aint it tough?! sometimes, i do get pissed that she's really just wasting my time and energy tutoring her, but there's one thing that erases all these.. a child's innocence. this is what keeps me going.. she's really funny sometimes. esp when she blabbers nonsense that is seriously off point. HAHA! it's both pissing, yet at the same time funny. probably that is why i'm interested in children.. they can make your day although they may spoil your day first(if you get what i mean) =D and.. they make you happy with their innocence and.. the list goes on. they just make you smile from inside. that sums it all up, i guess. here's some pictures of those innocent little ones.. (most are of babies though. they're even more adorable!)    but, of course i love this toddler the most...jpg) DARIUS! Labels: a child-like one |
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